Review a peer’s research proposal introductory

The Level of Empathy Experienced by Recovering Addicts Compared to Non-Addicts [Is the essay only about the level of empathy? Does it show the effect of the level of empathy as well?]

Abstract

The Level of Empathy Experienced by Recovering Addicts Compared to Non-Addicts [Is the essay only about the level of empathy? Does it show the effect of the level of empathy as well?]
The social and psychological implications of empathy levels experienced by former addicts is immense. In order to fully understand how to reduce relapse in addicts, it is important we learn the amount of social-cognitive affect that recovering addicts are capable of processing [The argument might flow better if you explained this opinion]. The ability to experience empathy or understand another person’s perspective can have a great impact on how successful a person is in their recovery [The argument might flow better if you proved this hypothesis in the body of the essay]. This research study will show that former addicts display significant levels of empathy due to their ability to place themselves in other people’s shoes, so to speak. Recovering addicts are aware of the circumstances that can lead to a person’s addiction habits. Involuntary loss of a job, divorce, depression, or other situations can lead to a person turning to drugs, alcohol, or nicotine as a coping mechanism. Those who persevere can overcome their addictions, and are able to empathize with others experiencing similar distress [Is this the thesis statement?].

The introduction begins by discussing the topic broadly. It further explains what the research study intends to achieve. This is a plus since the reader can appreciate why the essay is worth reading.
This researcher intends to show the relationship between empathy expressed and status of being a recovering addict or non-addict. It is estimated that recovering addicts will display a slightly elevated empathy level when compared to people who have never been self-disclosed addicts [The hypothesis is well stated, enabling the reader to anticipate what the paper seeks to prove. The hypothesis is also testable]. I will be using quantitative measures to determine the level of empathy or social affect that is experienced by former alcohol, narcotic, and nicotine addicts. To test these levels, I will conduct a study with a total of ten participants- 5 substance abusers and 5 non-substance abusers. I will explain to the participants that confidentiality will remain a top concern and I will explain the study’s importance in reducing relapse levels. I will then distribute a survey to each participant with questions to determine empathy levels. Each participant will answer the questions using a scale of 1 to 5, 1 being “no empathy” and 5 being “great empathy”. I will score these surveys with a score of 5 being equal to “no empathy for others” and a score of 25 equal to “high empathy for others”
The paragraph appropriately shows how the writer conducts the study to prove the hypothesis, including the experimental groups.
A study conducted on alcohol and empathy showed the prevalence of higher levels of empathy in non-alcoholic dependents than in their counterparts (alcoholic-dependents). This study involved two types of alcholic-dependent participants – those who became alcoholics later in life (after age 25) and those who became alcoholics early in life, usually during adolescence or the teen years. This research proved that alcoholic dependents, regardless of type, generally do experience empathy in high levels but they often regard facial expressions or emotions from others as negative, meaning they tend to assume any facial expression that is not happy has a contemptuous or hostile meaning (Dethier & Blairy, 2012).
One study conducted by a team of researchers demonstrated the deficits displayed by recovering methamphetamine users. This study showed that these recovering addicts were unable to detect facial cues that displayed emotions, further proving the fact that recovering addicts are unable to utilize social-cognitive awareness cues (Henry, Mazur, & Rendell, 2009). However, yet another study showed that current users of MDMA, or ecstasy, displayed increased levels of prosocial behavior and emotional empathy (Hysek, Schmid, Simmler, Domes, Heinrichs, Eisenegger, & Liechti, 2014). This study did not show whether the same could be said for recovering addicts of MDMA [Well done mentioning a limitation of the study!].
[The above paragraph could have been split into two, and each study explained sufficiently in a paragraph of its own]
Another study showed that people who are actively addicted to a substance that impairs cognitive functioning (alcohol, narcotics, nicotine, etc.) display extreme deficits in emotional empathy (Ferrari, Smeraldi, Bottero, Politi, 2014). Although this correlation is important, it does not show a relation to empathy experienced by recovering addicts [Well done mentioning a limitation of the study!]. There are studies that show the importance of developing empathy in order to recover from substance or alcohol abuse, which also bears mentioning [Which studies are these?]. “Mutuality” is a cornerstone of the Alcoholics Anonymous recovery program, and this term is used to show how important it is for members to be able to empathize with others participating in the program[This sentence does not seem to be in harmony with the rest of the sentences in the paragraph] (Galanter, 2014).[The above three paragraphs give a good summary of the findings of the studies. However, the studies could have been described in more detail]
[A concluding paragraph would come in handy to summarize the essay]

References
Dethier, M., & Blairy, S. (2012). Capacity for cognitive and emotional empathy in alcohol-
dependent patients. Psychology of Addictive Behaviors, 26(3), 371-383. doi:10.1037/a0028673
Ferrari, V., Smeraldi, E., Bottero, G., & Politi, E. (2014). Addiction and empathy: A preliminary
analysis. Neurological Sciences, 35(6), 855-859. doi:10.1007/s10072-013-1611-6
Galanter, M. (2014). Alcoholics anonymous and twelve-step recovery: A model based on social
and cognitive neuroscience. American Journal on Addictions, 23(3), 300-307. doi:10.111/j.1521-0391.2014.12106x
Henry, J. D., Mazur, M., & Rendell, P. G. (2009). Social-cognitive difficulties in former users of
methamphetamine. British Journal of Clinical Psychology, 48(3), 323-327. doi:10.1348/000712609×435742
Hysek, C. M., Schmid, Y., Simmler, L. D., Domes, G., Heinrichs, M., Eisenegger, C., & Liechti,
M. E. (2014). MDMA enhances emotional empathy and prosocial behavior. Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience, 9(11), 1645-1652. doi:10.1093/scan/nst161
Martinotti, G., Nicola, M. D., Tedeschi, D., Cundari, S., & Janiri, L. (2009). Empathy ability is
impaired in alcohol-dependent patients. American Journal on Addictions, 18(2), 157-161. doi:10.1080/10550490802544391
Preller, K. H., Hulka, L. M., Vonmoos, M., Jenni, D., Baumgartner, M. R., Seifritz, E., Dziobek,
I., & Quednow, B. B. (2014). Impaired emotional empathy and related social network deficits in cocaine users. Addiction Biology, 19(3), 452-466. doi:10.111/adb.12070

Criteria Ratings Pts
This criterion is linked to a Learning OutcomeIntro: Topic and content 4.0 pts
Good 3.0 pts
Satisfactory 2.0 pts
Problematic 1.0 pts
Inadequate
 / 4.0 pts 

This criterion is linked to a Learning OutcomeIntro: Lit review 4.0 pts
Good 3.0 pts
Satisfactory 2.0 pts
Problematic 1.0 pts
Inadequate
 / 4.0 pts 

This criterion is linked to a Learning OutcomeIntro: Lit advancement 4.0 pts
Good 3.0 pts
Satisfactory 2.0 pts
Problematic 1.0 pts
Inadequate
 / 4.0 pts 

This criterion is linked to a Learning OutcomeIntro: Hypotheses 4.0 pts
Good 3.0 pts
Satisfactory 2.0 pts
Problematic 1.0 pts
Inadequate
 / 4.0 pts 

Total Points: 10.5 out of 16.0
Appendix A
Rubric for Peer Review