An Experience that shaped you

Special experience
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Having lived an average existence in one place doing subpar things my entire life, I finished high school needing a drastic change. I had not seen my best friend Amy in almost two years since she moved to Germany. We planned an amazing graduation trip and intended to travel all over Europe with her boyfriend, and eccentric family. When I left, I was a timid, naïve girl with no life experience and zero common sense. Until that summer, I spent my life in the small town of Schertz, Texas doing nothing, but going to high school, and working minimum wage jobs. I had no sense of self-worth, did not have any confidence or independence. I suffered from anxiety and had frequent panic attacks. I had never taken any form of public transportation. I boarded the plane to Germany to follow my dreams. I had never traveled alone and felt terrified. Yet, I somehow managed to cultivate an obsession with travel. I had spent my whole life desperate to explore the world and felt convinced going out would change my life. I was a walking cliché. The whole idea sounded incredibly idyllic to me. I was so excited to travel to a different continent and visit various countries for the first time. Considering I went to Europe for three months with only one thousand dollars that I had saved working a minimum wage job calling bingo. You can probably imagine how being able to get around for this amount of time would be difficult, but I managed to make it work.

After settling down in Amy’s Village, we set off on our very first adventure. It began on a rough note with trying to rent a car. Amy and my now good friend Quinn both had expired drivers licenses resulting in the car having to be in my name. Because of this, we were unable to rent the car by ourselves, which resulted in us having to call Amy’s dad. I felt as though I was still a small, helpless child unable to accomplish a simple real-world task. After an hour spent sorting out logistics, we were finally on our way to our first stop in Milan, Italy. Upon arrival, two overzealous men yelling at us for parking in the wrong area greeted us. They knew perfectly well we could not understand a word they were saying, but they continued to yell at us.
After searching for parking for 20 minutes, we met up with our host Piera, along with her screaming baby. Piera was enthusiastic, had an abundant knowledge on how to work on the microwave, and was familiar with the area. We only had one night in Milan and wanted to make the most of our time. My first experience with trains in Europe happened to be that first night. This ended up being the best train experience I could possibly ask for. The first thing I saw was the Milan cathedral, which was truly breathtaking. What made this experience even better was the fact that I got to enjoy my very first cup of gelato. More miles were covered in the car as sunflowers fields and vineyards flashed alongside me. We had finally arrived in the quaint town of Pienza in Tuscany, Italy. I had never experienced a place with so much tranquility and beauty. It all felt too good to be true. The town smelled of freshly baked bread, aged cheese, and wine.
Time passed, and the last country my friends and I visited was France. We always found the cheapest hotels; although, not the safest, and took public transportation. There were many instances where money could have solved all of my problems, but having to get by with so little taught me how expensive life is. Little things pop up that you would never expect, and you instantly regret paying 10 euro for a small cup of gelato. It was the end of the summer and I was down to three hundred dollars. The first thing we had to figure out was how we were going to get around the city of Paris. A week pass for the train, and there went a hundred dollars. Paris is an amazing city filled with an abundance of things to do. I had to budget and make do with what I had. Aside from Paris is known for its romanticism, fashion, food, art, and culture, we chose to attend Lollapalooza, which is an annual music festival. Excitement rushed through my body as soon as I stepped foot on the train, I knew I was about to hear my favorite bands play in one of the most extravagant cities in the world.
Little did I know, we would return to that train within 6 hours, with a drastic shift in emotions. Upon arriving at Lollapalooza, my friends and I split up. I waited in line, in the rain, for almost two hours, only to end up holding three boxes of large pizzas, and I ate by myself. The Red Hot Chili Peppers were blasting in my ear and all I wanted to do was to jump up and scream. After this disappointing experience, we met back up, only to find that Amy was so drunk she could barely walk. Quinn and I walked her out, which worked fine until we tried to walk her up the steps on the shuttle. She fell flat on her face and had blood dripping down her lip. When the time came to get off the shuttle, we realized the trains were not operating. We had to walk three blocks, in the freezing rain, while Amy was crying, and throwing up. There were many adventures on this trip.
These experiences forced me to get out of my comfort zone. Now I realize the benefits of it. When you have never been on a bus before and you have had panic attacks just from stepping outside your door, your window of opportunities become limited. It can be hard to escape. For a long time, I did not even try. If I had to give a presentation at school, I would pretend to be sick. If there were a party I did not want to go to, I would stay at home. If I were too nervous to go to work, I would find an excuse not to go. In short, if something scared me, I would avoid it. I was worried I was doing the same with travel. Was I not just running away? If something frightened me, all I had to do was pivot, book a plane ticket to a new city, and I would be able to breathe again. In fact, I was doing the opposite. I had lived such a sheltered life that it was impossible for me not to be forced out of my comfort zone, on a daily basis, while traveling. Everything was a new experience. Exploring a city on my own, eating a new dish consisting of bread and cheese, using public transportation, or talking with strangers. While I was terrified of leaving my comfort zone, at the time, I did my very best to avoid “it”, the feeling I had whenever I successfully managed to put myself out there, and not make a fool of myself became appealing.
Now, I seek out new opportunities. I want to push myself to experience more, and growas a person. When I am flailing like a fish out of water, it is possible to survive. That summer happened to be the best time of my life, and thoroughly changed who I am. It was a difficult time, with lots of arguments, and personal demons I had to face, head on. I felt small in comparison to the world, which was very intimidating. The way I thought and spoke about things, how I felt about the world and the people around me had all changed. Most importantly, my outlook on my own life and future changed and gave me a whole new perspective on life.