shame

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Shame
Through difficult times, the practice of patience has helped change the outcome of certain situations we encounter in our lives. After living all my life with a lot of impatience, some events and circumstances often change people’s perspective, to be more precise, some event does humble a person. All of it started when two strangers accidentally walked through our front door, out of paranoia, my parents’ goat annoyed and my father pulled the trigger. Wanting to know what they needed, he ended up shooting the wrong person. A court case was well set up and having so much confidence and assuming he would win the trial; he went straight for an expensive lawyer. Four tests later, he was accused of attempted murder and sentenced to 10 years in prison. Impatience is a thing well known in our family; it could not be accepted that he would live in prison. All members agreed to make an appeal, which meant more cash outflow despite the fact that we still had to attend school and pay for all the other medical bills. No one saw how the money mismanaged, after all, hope was lost we had to settle down and rebuild our lives as a whole. Financial constraints started coming our way, every family member was frustrated, while others just disappeared and got involved in weird and expensive hobbies.
My elder brother could not bear the trauma anymore; he had to take care of both himself and me while looking after my mother’s welfare as she had taken a liking to drinking and smoking.

No one could tell where the money he used to settle all the bills came from, but no one dared ask. Being used to an expensive lifestyle, and having everything you wanted at your disposal, patience is not one of the virtues to possess. It does not mean that things are more comfortable for us, with an expensive lifestyle with no money; life was getting the harder day in day out. School fees piled up, and I had to quit school or join public high school considering that my elder brother had already differed from his university studies. It wasn’t until one year later that my brother, who was now the sole breadwinner arrested for using and dealing drugs. It was just another blow. After all, relatives had ditched us, never support user even checked for our survival. Tragedy just strikes whenever it has to. My father apparently got stubbed and died within the prison walls, now that was devastating and the final blow.
One lesson I learned throughout the horrible experience, my impatient nature could not be satisfied in any way, it was just my mother and me with no source of income. We lived from hand to mouth, with people gossiping and saying awful things about the family. No one offered a helping hand, not even those we had considered family friends. Several months later, my mother began falling sick, with frequent fever, check pianos and coughing blood, we could barely afford decent medical attention. With the few savings we had left, we had to know what was happening with my mother, after numerous tests, she was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer, this was the final blow. It could not be cured, it was too late to deal with it, and again, there was not enough money to use for the treatment. The impatience we had, throwing money at everything to get away with everything. And now, it was my turn to pay.
I was walking through every medical charity organization in search of help, working after school to earn a little cash to afford day to day basis. From the various promises people had pledged towards helping with curing my mother’s cancer, all I had to do was wait; the chemotherapy was no longer working. It only made it worse by weakening her and causing more pain. My trust fund was due already. I had access to my money, but once again, the money could not help. It took a miracle for cancer to be cured. No amount of money was enough to repurchase her health. I was not a firm believer in God, but He was what I need most. Being humble, accepting the possibility that anything could happen and pray to God that in whatever errors we might have committed in our lives. It took patience, and a lot of it to be able to live, watch family members suffer in agony, my brother rotting in prison for trying to fend for his family. Not having a choice in life, living under the mercy of superior being than you is what humbles a person, having faith and believing in almost an impossible cause and having to wait on dying hope is what I learned, and that is his I learned to be patient. It did not take long before my mother’s health began to improve and one year later, it was the full recovery. Since then we’ve lived a life full of love humility patience and compassion for the society. When life wants to teach you a lesson, it is best to accept and learn from it as it is the best teacher (Spiegel N.p).
Suppose such events had not happened sequentially in my life, I would still have the same impatient trait, where everything would be “handled on a silver platter,” without knowing how it felt to ask for something and having to wait for it to happen. These occurrences were not my lives greatest lessons, not taught in school, nor places of worship and not by my parents, but by nature and since then, patience has been my best value over the years.

Work Cited
Spiegel, James S. “The Virtue Of Patience.” ChristianBibleStudies.com | Transformed by the truth. N.p., 2017. Web. 30 Jan. 2018.