The idea of marriage in the middle ages

The idea of marriage in the middle ages
Marriage in the middle ages was not an entirely romantic affair. During the middle ages, the institution of marriage was influenced by factors such as the people’s customs, family, and religion among others. For instance, the family performed a crucial role in arranged marriages. In such cases, marriage was not based on love, but it was rather perceived to be an avenue for the exchange of property. By looking at different scenarios regarding marriage, the readings help in painting a clear picture of the complex nature of marriage in the middle ages.
In ‘The Paston Family on Love and Marriage,’ the idea of planned marriage is revealed. Margery, who was about 20 years old at the time, is considered by the family to be of marriageable age. As a matter of fact, some marriage negotiations had been carried out to find her suitor, but none of them had been successful. Given that her age was advancing, her chances of getting married were narrowing down, and she was likely to face the common fate of women during this period. To avoid the likelihood of having to spend the rest of her life in a monastery due to her advancing age, she chooses to take Richard as her husband. Concurrently, during this time marriage was something people engaged in for material and social interests other than being an institution of love. Marriages in the Paston’s family were used strategically to gain status by initiating closer ties with another well off families. It is evident in the angry letter written by John III to express his anger over Richard’s decision to make his sister sell candles.

However, this did not eliminate the role of love in marriages as it was considered to grow over time after a person had already been married. Also, the role of religion in marriage is revealed when the family sought the advice of the bishop of Norwich to decide on the legality of the wedding between Margery and Richard as the vows were exchanged in secret.
On the other hand, ‘Gratian: Canon Law of Marriage’ reveals a doctrine oriented consensus regarding the institution of marriage and divorce. Using the superior jurisdiction of the church courts over secular courts, Gratian lays down guidelines to marital indissolubility, adultery, incest, and divorce among other issues in marriage. Gratian viewed marriage as a process consisting of two stages. The first stage is the free exchange of vows among couples resulting in a spiritual union between the two. The stage was followed by the perfection or completion of the marriage through physical bonding. Engaging in a sexual union did not constitute marriage just as marriage would not be fully formed if there was any sexual union. Gratian’s view is that through the physical union, marriage was transformed into a sacrament and it became indissoluble.
In contrast, ‘Lais of Marie de France’ explores the complexity of marriage in the Middle Ages by recognizing the presence of love and attraction in unions. The stories offer reliable solutions to marriage problems as women in unhappy marriages are given the freedom to search for their true love elsewhere. For instance, in “The Lay of Equitan” Marie upholds the view that if a person loves without moderation, then they put the life of their lover at risk. Equitan falls in love with the wife of his seneschal, and he is impressed by her looks. Throughout the night, he meditates on the possibility of having an affair with her. The happenings indicate the importance of moderation, love, and loyalty in marriage. In some instances, he left some of his duties to be completed by his loyal seneschal while he plans to kill him so as to marry his wife. Equitan’s pursuit of pleasure finally led to his death.
As can be seen, marriage in the middle ages was a complex issue that was determined by several factors from within the union and the external environment as a whole. A look at the different readings reveals how family, religion, and love relates to the complexity of marriage in the middle age.