Book Psychoanalysis The Art Of Loving

Book psychoanalysis The art of loving

The book that I decided to read is titled: The art of Amar, was written by the social, psychoanalyst and philosopher Erich Fromm, being of the main renovators of the theory and practice of psychoanalysis in the middle of the twentieth century. During his career I speak of his disagreement with certain situations of psychoanalysis and defended his political position regarding Marxism.

This book is the main part of Fromm’s thought (along with his work the fear of freedom and the heart of man) which expresses his opinion regarding psychoanalysis and activities that man does in a daily basis, but still sees these without deepening. In the art of loving and theorizing the power to love as an art, addressing a perspective from psychoanalysis, one could say that Fromm develops his theory of what love is.

At the beginning the author gives an honest preface to what can be expected during reading, this honesty can certainly be funny, because it is clarified that it is not a manual that of easy teachings to love or be loved, but that the goal isdemonstrate the complexity of love and as we are destined to fail unless individual love, love of others, humility, discipline, faith and courage develops.

Another point to mention is that in the same preface, Fromm clarifies that in the book it is about maintaining a non -technical language, in order not to confuse readers to ignore terms of psychoanalysis or are new knowing their works.

This was something of great help, because psychoanalysis and other psychology issues are unknown to me, so maintaining a language that does not use technicalisms facilitated reading and understanding.

The book itself is short, tries not to address issues that are irrelevant, the same author mentions that he tries not to mention his other works, so that the reading turns out to be understandable and achieves the objective that had already been mentioned. It is composed of a total of four chapters: Is love an art?, The theory of love (with three sub -themes), love and its disintegration in contemporary western society and the practice of love.

During the first chapter the question "Is love is a pleasant sensation, whose experience is a matter of chance, something with which one" stumbles "if he is lucky?”(Fromm, 1956) clarifying that the book develops the first option.

Fromm mentions that we are all thirsty for love, we consume a lot of love stories with happy endings and drama, but we don’t think there is something to learn from love;We usually think that the problem of love is to be loved and not in our own ability to love others. This mentality causes us to look for everything to be loved, following opening paths such as the use of accessories, clothing, showing power or pleasant manners.

The second problem that the author presents is the attitude that there is nothing to learn about love, that this is an object and not a faculty. Related to what has been said above, people believe that loving is simple while being loved (or getting someone appropriate) is the difficult thing. These attitudes possibly come from ancient thoughts that reproduce the idea that love is an object to choose due to arranged marriages that used to be carried out with the intention of obtaining something in return;Another entrenched thought is the culture based on the desire to buy, possess and make an exchange that gives me a benefit.

As a consequence as explained above, men and women have adopted an idea where to have a partner to love ends up being a prize that can be negotiable.

The third problem is that a position is taken where there is nothing to learn from love, arising confusion about what is to fall in love and be in love, or rather stay in love. Fromm (1956) explains how two people who are unknown can become close when dropping the barrier that separates them, being according to the author’s own words “even more wonderful and miraculous for those who have lived locked up, isolated, without love".

Finally, art is made with love, that is, love is an art and as in any art the theory and practice must be dominated. First you have to study the theory to understand why this art arises, then everything seen should be put into practice;It is no use to know the theory of law and vice versa if we cannot exercise it, as well as it is good to be good in practice if we do not know the basis and foundation of our actions. Then this can be applied for medicine, music, carpentry and in this case in love, unfortunateArt of love.

During the second chapter the next three subcapituli are broken down: love, response to the problem of human existence, love between parents and children and love objects.

The set of these subcapituli address the theory of love, but to understand a theory of love, you must begin by understanding man and in whether human existence. The author buys human love with the affection of animals, explains that although man comes from nature once he separates from this there is no back, it only remains to continue advancing and evolving.

When a human is born he is attached to nature, he is guided by instincts and experiences affection for the closest beings (the mother mainly), but here is the difference with the animals, the human is endowed with the ability to reason andbe aware of himself and his environment, generating here the detachment with the nature and complexity of the affection we used to experience.

Finally, Fromm refers to the biblical passage of Adam and Eve to explain this detachment of nature, such as having awareness, it can be understood that there was no love among them but detachment, so love was something they had to learn onceThey are expelled from paradise.

In the second subchapter a bit of the aforementioned is resumed, there is talk of the birth of man and as for a period of time after birth we are not so different from what we were in the womb.

At birth the mother is identified as the main source of life that provides food, heat and the feeling of affection, however, when the child grows, he begins to be aware of his person to later be aware of his person within the surrounding environment, this discovery process can be overwhelming for the child, it can even extend up to eight or ten years of age.

Something interesting is that during childhood the love for others is not really experienced, it is an immature love that is actually only gratitude or satisfaction for what others can provide, we feel affection because there is dependence.

Here is another thought of Fromm, where the mother experiences an unconditional love for the baby, not because a need as is, is something that goes further and personally I think it ends up being complex.

However, this love/affection relationship becomes different between the mother and the father but why?, In the beginning I thought that something cultural was due because the mother is the one who must take care of household care, therefore there is that closeness, but the biological factor could also be taken into account because the mother is the one who carries the baby for nine months and even afterwardsof childbirth is she who is responsible for feeding him, among other needs that she must meet.

Fromm (1956) explains in a paragraph the difference between the relationship of father-son and mother-son, he mentions that:

“The attitudes of the father and the mother towards the child correspond to the needs of that. The infant needs unconditional love and the care of the mother, both physiologically and psychically. After six years, the child begins to need the love of the father, his authority and his guide ".

In the last sub -chapter the idea that love is not necessarily a relationship with a specific person, because love turns out to be an attitude that determines the relationship with others, not an object. If we maintain the mentality that you should only love one person and ignore the rest, it ends up being a selfish mentality and it would not really be love.

To explain this not to love only one person, Fromm develops the types of love that may exist:

Starting with fraternal love, one of the most basic that is composed of respect and care, this can feel both for a good friend and a patient who is unknown to us, it can be said that feeling fraternal love for foreign people isget to a high level of fraternity. The next love is the maternal, which was already approached, then moving to erotic love;In the other two it can be said that the love you feel for others remains at an equal level, but in erotic it can be different according to the person or situation, it relates to the couple and the sexual. Now two more complex types of love come, love for yourself and love for GodIt is related to the need to feel that something greater to us exists, that one or another one depends on it, so we must love it because of not doing so there would be a feeling of anguish, we need to experience a feeling of attachment to something greater.

If the types of love are analyzed we can conclude that everyone seeks union with someone else, whether the family, a stranger, a couple, a superior being or with ourselves.

When addressing the third chapter, the disintegration of love in Western society is mentioned, possibly because of the influence of capitalism where a political freedom is sought and the market as the main regulator of economic and social relations.

The author develops what capitalism is and how it develops in our society, it is summarized in an exchange of goods where the other should be benefited, this was mentioned superficially in first chapters where the problem that is to see love is explained asOne more service that can be exchanged.

It is addressed as capitalism affects man, creates a feeling of anger and disagree with his environment and his peers, this ends up affecting human relations because a feeling of insecurity, distrust and even competition with others is created and propagated with others.

Based on these symptoms, marriage ends up being not only a business but a false cure for the feeling of loneliness that can generate to live in the capitalist system, ending up confusing love with selfishness and the search for a good that can solve the symptoms and symptoms andmentioned.

Then Fromm develops the concept of love and intimacy, he mentions to disagree with psychoanalysis issues that relate happiness to sexual satisfaction;The author handles it more as intimacy aimed at optimistic feelings can bring happiness and strengthen love.

As the chapter progresses, pathologies are addressed that affect the development of good intimacy, being a problem for the art of loving. For me they are unknown terms, but there is talk of the fixations that can prevent the development of good sexuality. Here it is understood as several factors are ending up relating.

We arrive at the idea that love is only possible when two people manage to communicate with each other from the center of their stock.

Once all the theory of the development of the human being and love has already been seen, we can talk about practice, the last chapter addresses precisely that. The author clarifies that we cannot expect to receive a recipe of how to love and be loved because love is an experience that cannot be defined.

However, he explains that the practice of any art needs to be based on some points such as discipline because if we do not dedicate necessary time focused on a disciplined mentality, he ends up becoming a hobby and not an art. The next point is the concentration to achieve a domain (the example that is given is to learn to be alone and do nothing but maintain our concentration in learning), the third point is patience because we cannot aspire to have immediate results, muchLess if we do not comply with the previous points, the next point is to maintain a concern to maintain the mastery of art, that is, give due importance, the last point is something complex and is to understand that an art does not know how to learn directly, but indirectly learning things that at first will seem unnecessary or boring but will end up being the foundations of the art learned.

This reading turned.

Bibliography

• Fromm, e. (1956). The art of Loving. Obtained from https: // lookaside.FBSBX.com/file/erich%20fromm%20-%20el%20art%20de%20amar.PDF?token=AWyrzOuYcGXZ2XJ_URO5N4-eA4tq_VIGormoxY9CFHYR65oPfpOz19-BgcfIQs2nVlt8d5rC_8hwD91gJMqxgSivDlUqNr_GjEWUM56r0GdoYm1hKouW4x_MPjinzWu_rEB_RZ_bRi2CcWlZPzORpcgxaWrsLg-q3cptNypmLv