Communions That Seem Weddings, What Happens?

Communions that seem weddings, what happens?

The month of May is, par excellence, the month of communions. Already in June, I would like to take the opportunity to reflect on a social reality that we are living: communions that seem weddings.

In recent years, communion celebrations are proliferating in style. It is increasing.

I say social because, although in its religious base, it has become an event that has been losing its main meaning, based on belief and faith. These fathers and mothers can borrow, in order to provide their child with a perfect moment, remember all your life.

In addition to the economic cost, this entails a stress situation related to all the preparations of the organization.

What is communion?

Leaving aside the ‘social madness’ in which the moment of communion has become, I think it is necessary to make a brief note about its original meaning.

The origin of the Catholic communion is an intimate and spiritual ceremony, where the union between Christ and the boy or girl who receives it is established. With this rite, a relationship begins that will be narrowed every time the Catholic person commits before God.

Under this conception, the importance of the act must focus on the ritual that takes place in the Church; the preparation or catechesis, the confession or act of penance and the act of Eucharist. Regarding clothing, it is only required that you dress in white. The accessories to be carried are: a Bible, a rosary and a book of prayers.

Everything that exceeds these conditions does not belong to the true act of communion. And that’s where communions are transformed into weddings.

In the vast majority of cases, what we call communion is nothing more than a social rite of presentation of the pre-adolescent in society.

Costs of a communion that looks like a wedding

I have tried to make an average calculation, which has been able to cost a communion-Boda in 2019. This has been the result, taking into account only some of the indispensable of this type of celebrations:

Suit and accessories of the boy or the girl: € 300, for boys, up to € 500, in the case of girls. This cost can increase to exceed € 1000, depending on the brands, stores and if a second post-core suit is acquired. Adding another € 100, if pajamas/nightgown/robe is added, for the pre-ceremony photographic session.

Invitations and details for guests: indefinite. Since it can vary, depending on: number of guests, if we add bouquets of flowers for significant people in the child’s life, type of detail, etc ..

Photographer: From € 250 to € 600.

Covered of the banquet: an average of € 60 per adult, and about € 40 per child.

Sweet table: it is not usually included in the banquet, and can have an average cost of € 350, depending on the number of guests.

Photocall: about € 80.

Animator for children: € 50/hour.

Limousine rental: € 200. It is the star detail for communions to look like weddings.

We cannot fail to mention the gifts that these children can receive:

Mobile or latest generation devices.

The latest video console models.

weekends at Spa’s.

trips to thematic parks or foreign countries.

and a long etcetera of inappropriate gifts for 10 -year -old children.

How communions end up looking like weddings

We already know that generalizations are always dangerous, so it is difficult to specify a single reason why that a part of the population behaves in a certain way. However, there are some hypotheses that can explain this phenomenon:

Social comparison. We usually fear that they compare us with others, especially if we lose. This makes us get carried away by the trends of the moment, forgetting our desires, needs and possibilities. As my grandmother says: ‘Wherever you go, do what you see’. It is usually linked to low self – esteem and poor self-concept.

Compensate for the lack of time and attention to our children. The difficulty between working life and family conciliation, makes us feel guilty for not being able to adequately attend to our offspring. In this context, a party in style, compensates all the lost time. It is related to personalities aimed at self-criticism and self-examination.

Social ostentation. Need to be more than anyone. ‘My son is the best, and I show it with economic waste’. This hypothesis is linked to a materialistic and superficial conception of relationships and life. 

Compensate for their own deficiencies. It is reflected in the thinking of the type: ‘My son deserves all the best’ or ‘As I could not have it, I offer it to my son’. This cause moves parents with a humble origin, which may not have been able to enjoy some luxury or whim during their childhood.

By simple appetite or own choice. Here we include people without an underlying cause, who opt for this type of celebration, without pressures or external influences. Simply, because you feel like.

Consequences of communions that seem weddings

Needless to say, we run the risk of being educating an effortless generation, tending to immediate rewards and with materials based on material and superficial. We may be transmitting erroneous values, as ‘you have so much vouchers’ or that of ‘it is not necessary to strive to achieve the objectives’.

From here, and if they allow me, I would like to invite you to reflect on this subject. Try to answer these questions:

Did you make communion?

What was the reason why he did it?

How was your communion? Did you celebrate it? How was your celebration? Did he make him happy?

Do you want your son or daughter to do communion? What is the reason?

What is the meaning that you would like the day of communion to have for your son or daughter?

Values ​​for the life you want to convey to your children?

What do you think about this the protagonist of the future act?

Once you have answered these questions – and perhaps others that have been arising – may be closer to making a decision according to their way of thinking, feeling and acting, about the next communion of their children. The only correct answer is to be consistent with who we are and what we want to convey.