Infidelity As The Main Cause Of Family Conflicts

Infidelity as the main cause of family conflicts

Throughout life, families face various difficulties, that if the dimension of the damage it can cause is not properly carried out, of all conflicts family members are the most common and painful, since the members do not sufferonly for them but for those who want the most. But what is the family?

The family is constituted as the nucleus or base of society, the primary and fundamental social group in which the new generations are born and educated. The phenomenon of infidelity is one of the main causes of fracture to the stability and harmony of the primary social nucleus, transcending the private sphere and impacting directly not only on all family members but also in society in society in society in society. Infidelity is considered a problem or social reality, the truth is that millions of people have been touched by this phenomenon and although in some societies it is punished and in others considered taboo, it affects all social classes.

There is no universal definition for infidelity, that is due to multiple positions and of course to the complexity of the subject, however after reading and analyzing several of the concepts, we can conclude that infidelity represents the violation or betrayal of a betrayal of aPromise that implicitly or explicitly agreed on an exclusive agreement between the two, regardless of whether or not, any formal agreement before the law, and does not only refer to the intercourse with a third party, but can involve social, sexual, biological factorsand psychological.

Next we will take a small tour of the different approaches to the subject, treating it from the social approach;making a special emphasis on the consequences for other family members and the most common reactions regarding the subject, to conclude with exposing our criteria on the possible overcoming of infidelity as a cause of family conflicts.  From its origins the family have universal functions, such as reproduction, protection, the possibility of socializing, social control, determination of status for the child and the channeling of affection among others. These functions have variants according to the time, socio-cultural level, religious, among others;that is, each family is unique in its essence. The family is the first group to which human beings belong, this is how the main behavioral guidelines are structured and molded, being the first school of ethical, social and cultural values. It is precisely this that positively or negatively influences the life of each human being

The appearance of problems within the family nucleus, is usually due to the alteration of balance within the family, factors such as an unexpected crisis, structural problems or changes in everyday life, are some of the reasons;Taking this into account, we find that infidelity is one of the main causes not only of disputes within the home if not of separations and distancing between the people who make up this nucleus.

According to the famous writer Walter Riso “Infidelity is deception. Is to break an affective-sexual pact that you had with your partner. Fidelity is not absence of desire for others, but more than love, it is an act of will;That’s where reason enters, I decide to be faithful to self-control and avoidance at the same time. If I need to have many people, in addition to my partner, then I should look for a couple who thinks just like me."

FIFE, WEEKS AND GAMBESCIA (2007) define infidelity as the violation of the commitments raised by the spouses, in which there are indistinct behaviors to the primary relationship and without the authorization or knowledge of the other party. Thus raising two kinds of infidelities: the sexual that is the extradinal exchange of a monogamous relationship. Mark, Janssen, & Milhausen (2011). On the other hand, the emotional infidelity that is the use made by one of the members of the couple of their time, attention and expressions of affections with a person different from their spouse. González (2009).

The phenomenon of infidelity has tried to explain from different angles, so much so that man is related to other animal species, where promiscuity and infidelity are evidenced, although we do not know if in essence man is monogamous or polygamousUnder culture, there are places where men can openly have several wives or women having several husbands, but that is not the case of our western culture, where jealousy and infidelity brings a negative impact not only for the couple but for the family ingeneral.

However, despite the efforts of the State, the Church and of society in general, so that couples achieve stable, monogamous and long -term relationships, infidelity continues to be one of the main social problems in terms of relationshipsIt refers, in consequence, an important number of divorces, landed families, family dysfunction and suffering in general that encompasses many broader areas than the couple in question and that on many occasions ends with the breakdown of the relationship, with the wear and tear of anot finished relationship and that by conventionalism decide: 84).

There are several studies aimed at the causes of this Evelosía, as well as the difference between men and women with respect to the subject and although the reasons are so varied they reach a single conclusion, infidelity is mostly unconscious. Our compartments are based on our influential beliefs, customs and social factors. According to the results, it is concluded that infidelity starts from the fear of the loss of the couple, which represents a return to lack, since the risk of losing it causes some satisfaction that within the relationship is not found.

Some authors attribute it to the search to fill a vacuum when the primary relationship is unable to meet certain needs, making a couple relationship outside the established couple. You can also conclude women go to infidelity due to lack of affection, they feel alone and misunderstood, which according to experts this phenomenon in women is more applied by abandonment or rejection of the one who is subjected by their partners, based on this, we can say that many women reach infidelity as a form of punishment for their partners through the application of revenge.

In this order of ideas, we can say that infidelity is frequently reached looking for a revaluation of their role in the relationship, demonstrating to the couple that in their environment there is someone else who can love him and provide them with what they lack. On the other hand, both single and married man arrives at infidelity because in his relationship they feel boring, confused and lack that "spark" of the new. This could be explained from what has been found that the most frequent cause of infidelity in men, is the simple, natural and normal feeling of sexual, emotional or both annoyance, since by nature the males of various species, includingThe human, present a tendency to seek sexual variety, especially after a long time relationship.

Therefore, the psycho-social education that proposes that the couple be exclusive, conflicts its members, since despite being in a satisfactory relationship, both men and women may feel the need to experience novel experiences and changes that entailthat any of them can be unfaithful. On the other hand, in the case of couples who return or continue with infidelity, they are based on the fact that the relationship feel loved, careful and stable.

Bioneuroemotion, suggests that everything we live has an impact on our personal, family, ancestral and collective life. Seeing it from this point our way of facing a situation will also have a positive or negative impact on our family environment. Thus, as infidelity is considered one of the forms of destruction to the children, every good or bad decisions are transcendental and will mark their lives.

Any infidelity situation is difficult for all involved, the particular couple suffers from a heartbreaking pain, however we must not forget the pain of children who regardless of their age are sensitive to the change that occurs at home, as well as that ofAll relatives and friends of the couple. This event between couples that make up a home, is considered a social problem and although it is not new, the loss of values aggravates the situation, this problem has no age distinction, sex, socioeconomic level or gender, having psychological consequences not only forthe person involved but in third parties.

Infidelity may present violation of the fundamental assumption of exclusivity in aspects of emotional and/or sexual intimacy. The majority of people who have commitments relationships, whether a relationship of marriage, coexistence or courtship, have the expectation that their emotional and sexual needs will be satisfied exclusively from the couple.

Explaining the reasons for this phenomenon becomes a complex and almost impossible topic to define, it is not an issue that is encased in a certain number or forms, but there are factors that can develop infidelity, such as childhood, emptyPrevious, monotony or even the same social circle in which we develop.

As mentioned above, one of the consequences of infidelity is family dysfunction. According to Lafosse (2004), “Family cohesion is the emotional binding that family members have with each other. It is the degree to which family members are interested in it, commit to it and help each other ”.

One of the most important, broad and necessary points to play when we talk about the family, is communication;Not only does it help to force family ties, but it is the key to a quiet and transparent coexistence, thus helping not only the couple but to the psychosocial development of the children. Various writers focus on the dysfunctional family as one that is not able to face the difficulties of daily life, being unable to cope.

As the cause of family dissemination we find work, for economic or labor responsibility, one or both parents decide that it is necessary is distancing and even the delegation of the care of children to third parties, as we see the currency factor began to make moreimportant in the bases of families, creating distancing, quarrels and conflicts. On the other hand, we find the aggression, this type of violence can be exercised by any family member, regardless of their condition or hierarchy, although statistics reflect greater case among couples or parents to children, increasing the rates in the same wayof feminicide.

In this order of ideas, aggression leads to a climate of apathy, distrust, fear and fear within the family circle. It is worth mentioning that when we talk about aggression we do not refer only to physical aggressions, but to the economic, verbal and psychological that may arise. The separation of parents according to Misitu and García (2001), "family disintegration has as its main cause the divorce of marriage or coexistence and diversion of the objects proposed as a couple". Speaking a little more about our specific topic, it is interesting to know that the adventures outside the relationship mean that the couple is wrong or that they go through difficulties, therefore, infidelity can occur in happy marriages and in unhappy marriages.

Living in a dysfunctional and disintegrated family is living in a selfish, indifferent and aggressive space, where each member cares only their own interests and not that of the family nucleus in general. Worldwide, fight for the reconstruction of families as the nucleus of society and the first school of future generations, where the basis for forming are built. If you have safe and happy families, safe and happy children are obtained. Parents should not stop attending their children, quite the opposite they must manifest with their example of life so that their children grow up with the seed of solid training in values for their future family.

It is not a secret that the circumstances in which an infidelity moves affects all family members and not only the couple, deteriorating the quality of family life and impacting the life of their children, not only in the present ifNot influencing his adult life. This situation aggravates if the father manages to suspect that the children are not theirs, placing the family in a tense environment and perhaps disturbing the love of Father to Son. Paternity rethinking implies an irremediable change in the family system, among other problems presented.

As much as they are trying to hide or hide a situation of conflict between parents so serious, it is almost impossible for children to not affect, the latter can detect the smallest changes that exist in the relationship of their parents,especially if they are small. The situation is aggravated when parents are dedicated to raising them, thus transmitting moods, lack of communication and the request that exists in their lives.

Children do not have to be involved in couple problems or at least it should not be done consciously. Parents are fundamental models and in a sense they can also be identified with them, despite all this it is common for the unfaithful mother or father to transmit to their children. The identification can occur in two ways, in a positive or negative way;The first is based on the acceptance of parents’ behavior and wanting to be like their parents, or in the second case rejecting its behavior, in any of the previous cases it will resonance in them. Another of the possible effects of infidelity in the family nucleus is the loss of trust of the couple or the parent, causing the overthrow of the idol that perhaps that person came to do in their lives.

Thanks to the previously exposed ideas, we are presented with a question, is it possible to rebuild family trust after an infidelity? Although it seems surprising for some, it can take time to achieve it, but yes, a family can recover after the crisis promoted by an infidelity. An infidelity can impact the entire family nucleus in a serious way and can be crisis time and anguish for all the members that make it up.

In the couple relationship the reactions can vary between sadness, anger, disappointment and disappointment, but everything is a process;In the case of overcoming this crisis there are six stages. The early stages include rejection, shock, anger, anger until acceptance and forgiveness are achieved.

Despite this family crisis, the situation with children must be handled with great care, not involving them and remembering that the unfaithful father remains his father. Here are some simple tips to avoid the negative intervention of children in family crises such as infidelities:

• The unfaithful couple is never spoken to him: in this type of crisis, hate can be experienced and of course nothing positive towards the unfaithful person, this does not imply that children should be placed in an even more difficult situation. The behavior of the unfaithful should not be excused, but neither should resentments be created in the children.
• Avoid strong fights in front of children: this affects the emotional health of the child, which is why it should be avoided at all costs.
• Children are not psychologists: it is true that you must have a bond of friendship and communication with children, but it is also true that there are issues that cannot be taken deliberately. Remember that while they are in home are parents, they have the responsibility to take care of their children and not the children take care of their parents.
• And most importantly, expressing your love daily: an infidelity can consume the whole family, which is why demonstrating love and security to children is essential at the time of the crisis. Infidelity is not easy, but it should also be remembered that children are not to blame for what happened and that is why emotional damage should be minimized as much as possible.

To conclude, we can say that a conflict can collapse a family, but it can also strengthen and help grow. This depends on the ability of its members to recover and face such conflicts, although it should be noted, that this situation in the same way depends on many factors, such as communication, the daily way to solve problems, resources and limitations or limitations orThe psychosocial situation within this family are some of those factors.

Communication, love and trust is essential when looking for solutions to the conflict within the family nucleus, especially if it is a matter as delicate as infidelity, which as we mentioned above not only affects the couple involved,but to the children, if there are, to relatives and even to third parties.

In overcoming the crisis as a family, flexibility, communication and having a support network in unfavorable circumstances are necessary. The affectation of family members in case of an infidelity where their parents involve them, can be represented with disturbance not only of their childhood but in their adult life, causing irremediable damage.

In this order of ideas, in childhood it can be reflected in retracted children, little communication with the outside world, low school notes or even the appearance of rebellion and "punishment" to other children for their situation. In the case of adult life, they are reflected as adults with weak bases, unfaithful and unable to carry a stable relationship and a happy family.

Infidelity is a phenomenon, which, as few, is able to destroy and rebuild the life of the people involved, shaking the roots in which love nations within the couple are constituted, being the task of the individual in modern society,In giving meaning. Similarly, the social world is established through intersubjectivity through the continuous exchange of these meanings and symbols, which reformulate the reality in which we live.

Finally, I leave them with a phrase for the reflection of Pope John Paul IIconcludes the great responsibility that parents have not only with their children, but with society in general, since the family is the primary responsible for the education of each individual. Everything good and bad in society depends on the ethical and moral values we receive in the family;This is how the family is a vital example.

Reference

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