Couple’s Communication Skills

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Couple’s Communication Skills
Communication skills play a critical role in enhancing a successful couple relationship. This is because the relationship is based on emotions and relies on nonverbal and interpersonal verbal communication. Most of the marriages begin with the aim of being successful, but poor communication can cause divorce. When parents have children, communication is a vital aspect because children grow to imitate their parents. Zimmerman addressed some of the communication strategies that can improve a couple’s communication skills. He discussed several elements including being positive, labelling your feelings, being brief, offering an understanding statement, accepting some responsibility and being specific.
According to Zimmerman, marriage provides a couple with the opportunity of growing and evolving themselves. He emphasizes that couples should learn to accept responsibility for their mistakes to solve conflicting situations (Zimmerman).They should strive to make things right b doing what is required of them. Blaming the other partner can perpetuate unhealthy dynamics which in turn does not respectfully resolve issues. Furthermore, taking responsibility requires a person to treat their partner responsibly in front of others. One should strive to say good things about them, and if one is not able to do that, they should opt to keep silent.
The attitude of a partner has significant influence in the relationship. Negative attitudes lead to negative results while positive attitude is likely to foster success in the relationship.

A person with a bad attitude will always have the kind of feeling regardless of the person he lives with. Thus, individuals should not cop out saying that they would be a better person if they were married to another person. Such statements are likely to trigger conflicts which in turn lead to divorce. Moreover, a person should be specific when labelling their feelings (Falconier 236). One can consider using the statement “I” when labelling their feelings about a particular behavior. For example, during arguments, a partner can say, “I feel that when this behavior occurred, my feelings were hurt.” Such statements prevent an attack mode and also stops a partner from becoming defensive. Also, such a tone makes it easier to gain the empathy of the listener.
Listening can be difficult particularly when your partner says something that prompts a defensive reaction from you. In such situations, one should remind themselves that they will have their turn of talking and thus should not interrupt. A person needs to focus exclusively on the conversation by maintaining eye contact. This helps gain diverse perspectives on the issue rather than viewing the other person of being right or wrong. If the other person is not clear, you should ask a thoughtful question to make sure you understand. For instance, one can ask, “Am I getting that right?” Taking turns while talking is critical but if things escalate you need to take a break.
Moreover, couples need to focus on one primary message. Zimmerman emphasized that disagreeing couples should not bring up irrelevant topics when solving an issue (Zimmerman). Also, past events should not be raised. Instead, they should focus on the current issue by viewing it on numerous perspectives. This is because additional topics may make the situation worse. Additionally, partners need to be specific on the behaviors that they like or hate about the other individual. They should endeavor to appreciate the positive behaviors while discouraging the negative behaviors in a low tone. They need not to should at the other partner about the undesirable behaviors. In this, it is essential to give understanding statements (Falconier 237). As you listen to the other partner, you gain a new viewpoint on why they behave in a particular way. Providing judgmental comments can be demeaning which triggers defensiveness. Nevertheless, understanding statement enhances cooperation and collaboration among the partners.
Works Cited
Falconier, Mariana K. “Together–A couples’ program to improve communication, coping, and financial management skills: Development and initial pilot‐testing.” Journal of marital and family therapy 41.2 (2015): 236-250.
Zimmerman, J. (2018). How to Have An Actually Productive Argument, According To A Couples Counselor. Retrieved from https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/how-to-have-a-productive-argument-according-to-a-couples-counselor