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Crime Cure-Essay Draft
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Crime Cure-Essay Draft
Abstract
Gun violence has been a major problem in the streets of most cities in America especially in neighborhoods with a majority of its members being African Americans. According to BBC News, there were approximately 372 people murdered and 1807 more wounded through gun-related crimes in the year 2015 alone. There is a thus a need to address the issue of gun-related crimes. This essay describes a strategy organized by an organization in Richmond, California called the Neighborhood Safety Office to help reduce the rate of gun violence in the city. The group implemented several strategies to achieve their objectives; these methods included the following: a police-driven approach called a ceasefire, employment of street members as the group’s staff, offering money as an incentive to those who ceased to take part in gun violence. These approaches failed to achieve the desired results. The organization got through to one of the key members of the street and convinced him to become an ambassador for increasing awareness to city members about the dangers of gun violence. This strategy was successful in achieving the goals of the group; it has been emulated by other cities with similar problems.
Review of the Article
Introduction Section
The introduction of the article presents gun violence a crucial area of concern in the city of Richmond, California. According to the author, this city was ranked ninth in gun-related insecurities in 2007.

He emphasizes that the crimes were daily routines in other parts of the town.
The thesis statement “Our mission was simple: to tackle this epidemic of gun violence that was killing so many young men, mostly in our minority communities,” does not appear in the last sentence of the introductory paragraph but rather in the second paragraph. The thesis is satisfactory; it contains both the purpose of the article and the need to address the problem at hand. The community outreach program was essential in Richmond, California because gun-related crimes resulted in many deaths of the young people.
Review of the Background Paragraph
The author of this article provides an extensive background of why gun violence is a major problem to this city. He emphasizes that in 2007 alone, 47 people had been murdered by guns, the condition was bad to the extent that the governor was asked by the city council to declare a state of emergency. According to the author’s description, I can fully understand the seriousness of the issue. He gives statistical evidence to back his theory claiming that out of 100,000 people of the city, 47 people were victims of the violence. In addition, he writes that Hispanic Americans or African Americans committed more than two-thirds (70%) of shootings and homicides. However, he does not provide outside sources for these statistical data.
Review of the Solution
The author suggests a variety of solutions to the problem of gun violence in the city. He claims that the best approach is reaching out to an influential member of the society for help. The Neighborhood Safety Office employed the street members to aid with the activities of the organization. The founders of the organization mentored these staff members, they, in turn, spread their knowledge to the other members. The biggest achievement of the organization was when they recruited Shyeed, the most notorious gun holder in Richmond, California. He had a reputation for the most murder cases in the street. Making Shyeed the group’s ambassador proved fruitful in achieving the goals of the organization.
The author provides substantial advantages for each strategy employed in solving the problem. The police-driven approach called ceasefire mend the bad perception people had regarding police. This initiative provided a platform for people to interact with the law enforcement agency. Employing street members as the organization’s staff reduced the number of gun owners in the city streets. Similarly, the influential Shyeed reached out too many members of the streets who associated him with gun violence. These advantages were critical in reducing the total number of gun-related crimes in the city. Therefore, the city recorded the lowest rates of gun violence and homicides due to these methods.
On the other hand, some of the strategies disadvantaged the cause of reducing gun violence. The police-driven approach was counterproductive; some members of the gangs associated the Neighborhood Safety Office with the police. They, therefore, hated any attempts that were made by the group. Other members were unhappy with the cash-for-peace strategy. In addition, the method was expensive to sustain since a substantial number of people were involved in gun violence.
Review of Structure and Organization
Some paragraphs and not all of them focus on a central idea that is introduced by the topic sentence. In paragraph one, the first sentence introduces the background of the problem. The author writes “Richmond, Calif. — IN 2007, this city of about 100,000 people, north of Berkeley, had the dubious distinction of being the ninth most dangerous in America.” (Boggan, 2015). However, the second paragraph is expounding on the first, and, therefore, no new topic is introduced. The topic sentence of the third paragraph explains the methods used by the group, which is, “We modeled our approach on “Cure Violence,” a community outreach program in Chicago founded by the epidemiologist Gary Slutkin.” (Boggan, 2015). The next paragraphs provide unique descriptions of the methods used by the group until the seventh one whose topic sentence states, “We employed street-savvy staff members, whom we called neighborhood change agents.” (Boggan, 2015). The rest of the paragraphs contained explanations for the remains methods.
Only a few paragraphs end with a concluding statement. For example, the second last paragraph ends with a description of Shyeed rather than a concluding sentence. The author writes “Instead, he was small and had a great smile.” However, some of the paragraphs contain the full structure of a typical paragraph. They contain all the three aspects, topic sentence, supporting statements, a concluding statement.
Review of Conclusion
In the conclusion paragraph, the author restates the thesis statement to mark the end of the article. It is evident that the best solution for solving gun violence is organizing fellowship programs to the youth members of the society. This strategy reached out to as many street members and gang members as possible. The method was also adopted by other cities which experienced similar problems.
Reference
Boggan, D. (2015). To Stop Crime, Hand Over Cash. The New York Times. Retrieved from https://www.nytimes.com/2015/07/05/opinion/sunday/to-stop-crime-hand-over-cash.html