Opposite-Sex Friendship: Sex Differences

Generally, men and women have varied perspectives on importance and implications of inter gender relationships. This article looks into acquaintances between males and females in as far as these friendships and or relationships are concerned. Specifically, the article explores the reasons for the formation, maintenance, or termination of such acquaintances. Basically, this is a study aimed at comparing the male and female perspective by establishing their similarities and differences. Indeed, men and women enter into friendships for uniquely varied reasons with few of these reasons being common to both genders.
The article cites sex or the prospect of it to be to be a strong motivator for beginning of opposite sex friendships (OSFs) by the males. The study established that men are generally interested in engaging in sexual relationships with their attractive female friends (Kaplan & Keys, 1997). In the society today, this fact is evidenced by the presence of many female sex workers and the absence of male ones. This is so because they aim on capitalizing on men’s affinity for sexual relationships. Furthermore, the article suggests that more often than not, for most males, the lack of ‘enough’ sex is reason enough to trigger the termination of an OSF. In one occasion, I lost interest in a girl upon discovery that she was in a serious relationship and therefore I stood zero chances of hooking up. More so, this is magnified by the total absence of the possibility of sex especially for the case of unattached or single males.

For the case of females, the article suggests that the search for protection tops the list on reasons for initiating friendships with their male counterparts. This is regarded as an evolutionary tactic developed for survival due to the females’ being generally relatively weak and therefore more susceptible to harm. According to the study, women tend to be attracted physical strength in men and in particular, their capability and willingness to offer protection (O’Meara, 1989). As a result, the article suggests that the failure to offer protection by their male friends is a significant reason among females to terminate an OSF.
Besides looking into the differences, the study also was aimed at establishing the similarities between the male and female perspectives on the issue. It concluded that there are indeed reasons for the creation or ending of OSFs that are common to both men and women. Among the common reasons cited for starting as well as maintaining opposite sex friendships were; the significance of companionship, the importance of honesty and the desirability of good humor. Those common factors considered by both parties as deal breakers were; dishonesty and disloyalty or backbiting.
The issues argued by the article are very relevant in today’s society. This is seen particularly when one considers the qualities that men look for when they are choosing their female friends. As is the case with most men, I have personally befriended a number of girls for the sole reason of their being physically attractive. However, my intentions for beginning most of these friendships were to try to initiate sexual relationships with them and very rarely for a long term relationship commitment. It is common for men to brag to their friends about the beauty of their female ‘friends.’ This is testament enough to prove men’s attraction to looks in females.
For the similarity on dishonesty being one of the common and main reasons for the dissolution of OSFs, several relationships have been known to survive many things but this. In many divorce cases today unfaithfulness, which is a form of dishonesty, is the commonest ground for a marriage dissolution. To this end, it is therefore irrefutable that the issues discussed in the article ring true in the day to day life and relationship experiences.
References
Kaplan, D. L., & Keys, C. B. (1997). Sex and relationship variables as
predictors of sexual attraction in cross-sex platonic friendships
between young heterosexual adults. Journal of Social and Personal
Relationships, 14, 191-206.
O’Meara, D. (1989). Cross-sex friendship: Four basic challenges of an
ignored relationship. Sex Roles, 21, 525-543.