Peer Review

The author’s introduction to the subject is catchy, thus captures reader’s attention effectively. Also, the author does introduce the subjects, lies, and secrets, as well as paper’s objective adequately. However, a strong thesis statement comprising the key elements of the essay is lacking. It is, therefore, not clear to understand the author’s stand in the first paragraph.

Organization

The organization is composed well enough to understand who the author is discussing and what are the arguments. However, there are instances that organization fails. For example, paragraph 3 and four should be interchanged. The reason for this is that paragraph 4 seems like it is introducing Sante’s categorization of secrets the “Sante also . . .” in paragraph 3 makes it look like a continuation of that categorization. The author can discuss every idea in its paragraph adequately before going to the next that follows it to ensure proper transition and logical flow of ideas.

Topical Sentences

The following are topical sentences I was able to find.
Viorst and Sante speak on their different categories of secrets and lies- this reveals that Viorst and Sante have different categories of both lies and secrets differently.

Sante goes into detail about six categories of secrets used by industry, entertainment or government- This reveals that Sante’s categorization comprises of six groups and their key users.

Viorst and Sante have a widely different view on the roles of lies and secrets in society- This reveals that Viorst and Sante differ on their views about the role of lies and secrets.

Like Sante I agree that secrets and even lies have a place in society- This sentence declares author’s stand on lies and secrets.

Focus

Although the thesis of the paper was not clearly stated, one can judge from the questions used in the introduction section that is aimed at comparing Viorst and Sante’s understanding of both lies and secrets. The similarities and differences were not well organized, but they are sufficiently stated. Also, elements discussed, including categorization, role and author’s opinion on lies and secrets are relevant. However, the author should have stated the thesis in the first paragraph to give the reader an understanding of what the paper is about and her stand on the matter. That way, readers will be able to understand and connect arguments to the thesis (“Paragraphs structure and linking” 4).

Comparison

The author tells enough details about the differences and similarities of Voirst and Sante perspective of both lies and secrets. However, the author could have used connecting devices to smoothen the transition of ideas as she used examples to improve reader’s understanding.

Conclusion

The author wraps up the essay adequately by revisiting key reason for differences in both perspectives of lies and secrets, categorization, the roles and finally her stand on the matter. She also gives her ideas on how family and relationship should be concerning the issues of secrets and lies. However, the thesis statement was not revisited at the conclusion for it was missing in the first place.

Examples of Grammar and Formatting Issues Found

Improper formatting both in the texts and in the Works Cited section.

Paragraphs 6 and 7 are not indented

Some sentences are not well punctuated. An example is “Government’s use of secrets however a lot more serious. They are used to protect our resources” that should have the word “however’ between commas (,)
Items in citation list are not in alphabetically arranged
No citations within the texts. For example, the idea “In her line 23, she speaks on the act of “playing God” and deciding what we feel is best for others without even consulting them” should be well cited according to MLA (judging from the Works Cited list).
Examples of grammar issues were;
“These secrets appealing to are love of mystery.”
“of being in on a secret, . . . ”
“Secrets create bonds in relationships, most of us enjoy the idea of being in a secret, we love to know something others”
“With this information can we conclude whether lies and secrets are important in society.”
“peace making lies” instead of “peacemaking lies”

Work Cited

Paragraphs structure and linking. LIEGE University, (2016), Web. Retrieved from www2.ulg.ac.be/facphl/uer/d-german/remed/paragraphs.htm.