feed back on Scientific Paper Activity / Plant growth with small percentages of water replaced with ocean water

Scientific Paper: Reviewer’s Template
Your name: (insert here)
Note: usually reviews in science are anonymous, but for this class, we are waiving this requirement.
Last name of the author being reviewed: Daly
Title of paper being reviewed: Plant growth with small percentages of water replaced with ocean water.
Guidelines: Answer the questions below. In addition to answering “yes” or “no”, explain your answers. The more specific you are, the better the author can improve his/her draft. If there is a problem with some part of the paper, copy and paste the problem section into this document and suggest improvements.
IMPORTANT NOTE ABOUT YOUR GRADE FOR THIS: You must NOT simply give a bunch of compliments. You MUST provide helpful comments, which might seem difficult for you to do because you are pointing out flaws and that might not seem polite. Nevertheless, it is a requirement of this assignment. You will get a bad grade if you are only “nice.”
Remember, you are reviewing TWO papers. Be concise, but helpful.
When you submit this assignment, it will be visible to the author, who will use it to improve his/her draft.
______________________________________________________________________________
Did the author commit a type 1 “sin” (not enough time)? If so, explain.
No, based on the type of plant the writer used for the experiment, the time frame was okay, and the information could have been correct.
Did the author commit a type 2 “sin” (not enough samples)? If so, explain.

Yes, the author used only one type of plant mung bean in particular.
“Next, I placed 8 mung beans on top of each paper towel, covered the beans with another small circle of paper towel and labeled the cups with the different percentages of salt water they would be testing for.”
Did the author commit a type 3 “sin” (Bad hypothesis)? If so, explain. Instead of
Yes, the statement leans on a particular outcome instead of making an expectation and lacks a clear explanation. Additionally, rather than using rainwater, he uses tap water which contains chlorine and other substances. These elements inhibit the plant’s nutrients uptake, unlike rain which has a neutral Ph.
“I think that if ocean water is mixed with tap water at a concentration of 15% or higher (of ocean water), a plants growth will be stunted.”
Did the author commit a type 4 “sin” (not measuring anything)? If so, explain.
No.
Did the author commit a type 5 “sin” (reported raw data)? If so, explain.
Yes, although the data recorded tries to convince the reader, it is shallow and in dire need of further detailing.
Did the author follow the format provided for writing the paper?
No, the author work lacks a reference list and citations. I advise the author to employ a bibliography as an indication or proof of authenticity or citing another writer’s work.
Was there a clear statement of hypothesis?
No. The authors’ statement appears to be biased in that it the outcome is already determined and set on a particular result.
Did the experimental design logically test the hypothesis?
Yes. To test my hypothesis, I collected ocean water from the beaches off of Samoa, California and Mung Beans from the North Coast Co-op located in Arcata, California. I then collected paper towels, a 10ml measuring syringe, scissors, a muffin tin with lid, and water from my faucet in Arcata, California.
Did it make sense?
Not entirely. Apart from the multiple grammatical errors, the authors’ text somewhat tries to make sense by the experiment.
Was it clearly described?
No.
Is it replicable?
No. However, if the writer while researching applies different samples, the experiment can be replicable because different plants require different conditions to grow.
Are the results given? Are tables and figures included where appropriate? Did they avoid interpreting the results in this section and just present the facts?
The author gives the findings of his research after eleven days of the experiment.
Did the discussion section logically analyze the results?
Yes, but by the authors experiment in particular.
Did the author refer to the hypothesis, and state whether the results support the hypothesis or not?
Yes, the results reflect the hypothesis through the use of tap and ocean water as stated in the topic sentence.
Did the author extract the most value from their results, and not just make excuses for “why it didn’t work?”
Yes. The author is off to a good start. However, this study lacks additional experiments which they should add.
Did the author suggest improvements for the next scientist or new avenues of research which might be fruitful?
Yes, the author suggests the use of meter gardens to aid other scientists in a more complex experiment procedure.
Is there proper grammar and spelling throughout? Copy and paste the misspellings here.
Yes, the author although appearing to be sound, the grammatical errors make the paper hard to follow. I advise the authors work with a writing assistant or grammar checker to improve the flow and readability of the work.
Overused word California.
“Farming is a major part of the California economy, but the state has experienced severe drought in the past 6 years. While California was recovering from drought in 2017, California farms generated 50 billion dollars in revenue. That revenue is important to the state economy, but California has needed to look at ways to conserve water in the face of concerns of further drought caused by climate change. A report from the United States Geological Survey of 2015 water usage in California showed that 18,983 million gallons of California’s water were used for Irrigation on a daily basis. Irrigation takes up 66% of water use in California.”
Passive voice “drought striken, mixed, replaced”.
The personal pronoun “my and I”.
Was it interesting? Be honest here.
No. The authors’ paper at first was interesting, but due to the numerous grammatical redundancies and vagueness, it ceased being of interest. The text although readable, it lacks a vivid further of the experiment.